Why Punta Miramar is like a box of chocolates; events inspired by my friend Craig Weiss
Forrest Gump was right when he said that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get…” it was actually his mother who said it, he was just paraphrasing, but you get my point. Punta Miramar on the other hand is like a box of chocolates, but some of us do know what you’re going to get and that’s the key to getting the best little morsels out of that ambiguous box of chocolates.
In order to provide this explanation you’re going to have to agree with my preferences for what makes a good Candy, because my opinion is right and because this is my blog and I’ve got Punta Miramar pretty dialed in.
Punta Miramar, in general breaks better on the high tide, but only when it’s smaller…like 3ft@13 second to 2ft@14seconds…this is the optimal size range for it….direction can vary, but the period and size is more important as the outer (like a mile out) reefs refract waves to the point. Larger or longer period will break at Turd-Burgers, or what I like to call “shit rock” which I’ll explain more about later. If it’s much larger and long enough period, like 3ft @ 16 seconds, Miramar breaks on the outer (like 300 yards out) reef…that’s a whole other box of chocolates…big mouthfulls of chocolate that spit back at you, but only if you have the balls…the chocolate salty balls that is.
Digressing….so… when it’s “smaller” as described above, there are three main take off spots, all of which are good in their own way, the trick is being able to predict what’s going to happen…like being able to look at a box of chocolates and know whether it’s a Lemon Satin Creme (Ewwww…barf), or a Pecan Pie (winning!). I used to call the deepest take off spot on the reef Tube Town, but from now on I think it’s going to be called Pecan Pie’s. The trick to getting a slice of Pecan Pie is you have to wait. You can actually see the sets coming when they hit the outer reefs and if you see the outer reefs break to the south there’s a good chance it’s going to be a good set for Pecan Pies…if you read it wrong the waves will swing over toward Pumpkin Pies (the middle part of the reef and pretty damn good too) or if it’s a smaller wave it will roll inside and break at Raspberry Satin Creme’s (the red creme filling is disgusting and represents the blood from the cuts you’re going to get reef walking when you don’t make the wave and are left inside with a set breaking outside). When properly consumed, Pecan Pies will give you a ride all the way across the reef and occasionally it will be a draining tube the whole way. It takes patience to get the right one and often you’ll eat a couple Raspberry Satin Cremes in the process. Bonus points if you can lure another surfer into eating the Raspberry Satin while you paddle out the back and pick of the Pecan Pie;-)
Pumpkin Pies is a crapshoot as well… it will often have you sprinting deeper for a Pecan Pie or sprinting wide to catch one at Turd Burgers. Pumpkin Pies likes a good southern direction like 210 degrees… Pumpkin Pies will barrel occasionally, but usually it’s a turning wave…occasionally you can shoulder hop a Pecan Pie on the inside of Pumpkin pies….the candy still tastes good, but you just missed a couple dozen yards of potential ride. It’s easy to find the takeoff spot…just find the boils that define Turd Burger and go another 20 yards south and 10 yards farther out…you can actually see the boils lined up. The trick is the right wave that misses the Turd Burger slab… then it will peel off all the way to the inside, sometimes all the way to the sand.
I spend a lot of time gobbling candy at the inside corner which comes in a lot of different flavors. I prefer the Pepperment Silk….it rolls wide, looks like it’s going to break at Turd Burgers, maybe even caps over and backs off and then pretty much jacks up and explodes on the inside…Pepperment Silk…delicious. I like to spend time there because most guys are not making the wave from Pecan Pies, or they’re lured out to Turd Burgers only to find they can’t catch the wave. Guys look at me like a freak sitting on the inside only to realize later that I’ve been picking off so many barrels I’ve got cavities. Occasionally a Peppermint Silk can turn into an Egg nog….sounds good, but it’s not as good as it sounds. It breaks late, it’s impossibly to get in the barrel and pretty much impossible to get the taste out of your mouth. These can sometimes turn into a Dark Chocolate Raspberry Creme if you pick the wrong one or go straight….never go straight at Miramar! You might as well eat a chocolate covered cat turd…also known as Kitty Rocha.
…but I digress as usual! Turd Burgers is the one you want to avoid. There’s a big slab of rock sitting outside and toward the shoulder. Occasionally as it starts to get too big or too west for the inside reef the swells focus on a big rock (shit rock) and they throw hard and then immediately mush out in the channel. I spearfish out there all the time and this rock slants up toward the shore going from about 10 feet to 6 feet deep, enhancing the jacking effect. The rock would be better blown up and scattered like rubble in the 15 foot deep channel just to the side of it….anybody got some C4? It is possible to lock one in at Turdburgers and fade it back into a Peppermint Creme and get a drainer….those are some of my favorites but they’re even more rare than the Pecan Pies!
The one thing you don’t want to do is eat the whole box of chocolates on Anyway…if you want to talk confections, come on down and I’ll paint a good picture for you. Bring a box of chocolates, but leave the Raspberry Satin Cremes or anything Lemon behind…or at least take a bite out of them so I know which ones not to eat. I’ll do the same for you in the lineup!